so my senior/messiah slept over last night... twas LONG over due! but yeah... it's always cool when you have an amazing movie (garden state), an amazing pint of ice cream (it's all about the ben & jerry's) and an amazing person (hannah... duh!).


so, after we dropped her off, i went to work... yay, what fun... i sat in a room with about 10, 80 year old jewish woman... oy vey!


anyways... it was sorta funny


but afterwards i went to one of my favorite places in the entire 'burgh.
in the front yard of my temple is this huge tree and i love just laying out there after work or b4 monday night school and just chilling... so, i was laying out there today just thinking about a bunch of shit.


i thought about everything... mainly some conversations i've been having the past few days with people. and, we talked about guci, nfty, nel-camp, jews, life, death, hope, faith, music, hate, questions, answers, everything... and i dunno...


as i was sitting under that tree, i was thinking about everything... and i started thinking about last year, cuz, i had a really hard time last year in school, and i just, lost it. i was in a rut... and even after i got out of that rut, i couldn't get my spirit up, i was so sure i was gonna go right back into that rut again. my whole persona changed, i wasn't happy, i was stressed, i stopped playing guitar, i stopped listening to music, i stopped enjoying my family and friends, i was at my ultimate low, and... i couldn't get outta it...



and... talked to a really good friend of mine, who's in nfty-ov, and... she told me to go, told me to go and just be myself... now... it was already going to be my 4th event, and i had a small group of friends, but... not very many... i went, and just had an amazing time... and... as i continued to sit under this tree, and think about all the memories of last year in nfty, of this summer in guci, and all my inside jokes and memories from the past year, i finally, for the first time in my life, felt sure... i felt so sure of everything... i felt sure that i could take on sophmore year, sure that i truly had an amazing group of friends, sure that life is amazing and that i could take on anything. and i snapped back to reality... snapped back to me, snapped outta that memory, snapped back to the space under the tree.


and right now, i'm just... chill... i'm just... ok... this is the most relaxed i'ver ever been... and even when i think about school, instead of freaking out, i'm just thinking... bring it on... cuz i know that, even if it's only for one weekend a month, i have an escape, i have a home... and even if that home moves each month, the spirit is still there, the family is still there... and i'm ok... and right now... lifes ok... cuz this is the most chilled i've probably ever been...


my mind, is racing at 100 miles an hour, but i'm not thinking



and finally, my favorite quote "celebrate we will, for life is short, but sweet, for certain" finally means something... i won't worry about the future, i'll just worry about today... and it'll be ok, cuz life is short, but if you enjoy every second, it will be sweet




so much love



and peace